TO: All Curious Parties
FROM: J. Thistlewhack, Senior Liaison Officer
RE: Persistent Rumors Concerning the So-Called “Book of Jerome”

Dear Muggle Broadcasters,

You were explicitly advised not to click that.
And yet—here we are.

Let us be perfectly clear:

The Book of Jerome does not exist.
It has never been real.
It is a real-world MacGuffin.

Think of it as a recursive plot device engineered to trap the creatively inclined in unresolvable myth-loops.

The phrase “Book of Jerome” has been officially classified as a Class B Metaphorical Construct.

It is not a sign.
It is not fate.
It is narrative malware, and the rumors have been highly disruptive.

The instigator—Class 7: Madman with Creative Intent—is known to weaponize coincidence, mass-manufacture synchronicity, and manipulate narrative tension from outside the fourth wall. We remind you again to please not engage.

If you're already reading this, you may already be experiencing early-onset Protagonist Syndrome. We suspect he is employing his signature tactic: the classic “You’re the chosen ones” ruse. 

He has done this before.
He will do it again.

Any sudden moments of clarity, revelation, or awe while exploring this website are not your thoughts. These are known enchantments.

Repeat after me:

I am not the protagonist.
This is not about me.
I am just a perceptive bystander.

For your own safety, please exit this domain and return to the Designated Browsing Zone.

Remember: Breadcrumbs are for mice. Stay curious, not chosen.

Yours in thankless, ever-failing containment,
J. Thistlewhack
Senior Liaison Officer
Dept. of Cross-Border Anomalies and Muggle Relations
MACUSA – Canadian Magical Embassy